Intimacy always starts with yourself. How can you share your feelings with another if you do not know what they are? How do you have an intimate loving relationship with yourself? First, you put away all outer responsibilities and distractions, so you can get in touch with your inner child. Talk to him/her. Ask her how she’s feeling. Then, move your awareness down into your gut. Become your inner child, and say exactly how you feel. She may say, “I feel sad, lonely, whatever…” If she is not happy, it’s because you have not been paying loving attention to her. Find out what she needs to be happy today, and make a decision to stay lovingly connected to her (your gut feelings). As you practice this intimacy with yourself, you are going to feel happier, and much more available to others.
Intimacy with Others:
To share what you are truly feeling with another (not just your knowledge) is to be vulnerable, and this takes courage. You have the strength to be vulnerable with others if you quietly stay in loving dialogue with your inner child. This way, you can remember to say, “No,” when something offered doesn’t feel right. Boundaries don’t separate you, but create the safety necessary to go deeper in an authentically loving connection.
It’s when we make the other person the source of our happiness and/or try to be the source of their happiness, the relationship falls out of balance. Most people do this when they “fall” in love. Your relationship to Self, Soul, God is your real source of happiness. When you are truly committed to yourself and God, you can sustain a healthy committed relationship. When two people who are each committed to their own happiness get together, they rise in love, and the joy of their unity becomes a spiritual Sun that generates warmth to all along their path.