Are You Angry?

Springtime is the season of anger, according to the traditional Chinese Medical system.  A bear comes roaring out of his cave hungry.  Buds break their shells so leaves and flowers can open.  There is a roar in all of us to break out of our shadows and fully live!  Anger can be a doorway into our personal power if we are not preoccupied with making anyone wrong.

Some of the nicest people learned to be nice because they were not allowed to express their power when they were children.   Some of these people are “loaded guns, “ ready to go off in rage when someone sets them off. Many spiritual and religious oriented people have learned to suppress their anger but the anger eventually finds a way to come up at the most inopportune moments. Held in anger, also known as long standing bitterness is a major cause of illness.

Are you holding onto anger, consciously or unconsciously?  It is likely – if you have a chronic lack of energy and have health challenges with your liver and gall badder. You might want to do an herbal liver and gall bladder cleanse and set about to heal your anger.

In the psychology world, there is much talk about managing anger,  as if you will just have to learn to live with it, or pacify it with a drug. In this article you will learn how to resolve each layer of anger once and for all – until you can finally give up the anger habit all together.

Is Anger a Healthy Emotion?

There is a healthy way to release anger, which can be an important step forward in one’s healing and growth. Underneath anger there is a gift to be received. For example, anger can provoke one out of an even lower vibration like apathy or shame. In this case, expressing anger in a safe way can be temporarily empowering.  But it is a common trap to glorify anger, to be proud you got that anger out. Yes, not holding onto anger is essential, but expressing anger is not the final stage of healing.

Anger is a toxic, destructive emotion because it is based in condemnation.  Anger says: “Something is wrong or bad here!”  We tend to blame others for over-stepping our boundaries, provoking us, neglecting us, or for causing some form of injustice.  When we give our anger full reign to take over, we will say or do something destructive.  Anger is the prevailing emotion of the worst crimes of passion.

There is a self righteousness in anger, a strong perceived need to be right regardless of the cost.  If we hold onto our anger too long, the cost is our relationships. No one wants to be around an angry person.   Angry people cannot be reckoned with.  They have to make others wrong to make themselves feel right.  While we are angry, we often make the worst decisions. Its usually better to not jump to any conclusions until our emotions have cleared. Bottom line: Unhealed Anger is destructive and can cost us loving relationships.

Anger is like a fire that is fed by condemnation. Our anger is over when we stop judging ourselves, others, our lives, our world,  and our God as anything less than perfect.  When we view life from a spiritual perspective, we open our minds to the possibility that everything is happening for a reason.  We stop judging God’s universe as less than perfect.

For example, a young boy does the so called “wrong” thing, allowing his ball to fall into the street and then chases it.  His family comes running out of the house to save him just as an earthquake collapses the house.  Everyone was saved because the boy did the so called “wrong” thing.  To judge anything is to have a myopic perspective.  When we can let go of right and wrong thinking, we can begin to see the miracles of divine synchronicity.

Everything that has happened in your life, including what you have called bad and good has contributed to who you are today, and you are still here!  If you are angry, you are likely fixated on the  “small potatoes.”  In some way, you are being a victim.

God doesn’t make mistakes. Even having anger can be part of the perfection if one is using it to grow.  Anger’s gift is to urge  you to reclaim your power.  You may not be able to control the situation at hand, but you can use what is happening for your growth and learning.  How can you reclaim your power in a healthy way?

Here, I have two ways of transforming anger into personal power. The short version you can do in about 3 minutes, and the long version in about 30 minutes for clearing deep, reoccurring anger.  Here is the short version:

Anger can be divided into three levels or stages from most unconscious to fully conscious:

1. Unconscious Anger
   Your anger is most unconscious when you are blaming others, unaware that you are subconsciously judging yourself for related patterns.  This is the most destructive anger. You are being a victim, and this kind of anger tends to escalate until you begin to wake up.
2. Semi-Conscious Anger
   You begin to see you were already angry at yourself.  For example, if you were angry at the grocery checker being so slow, you realize you have been very angry at yourself for procrastinating in your life in some way.   You blame others for holding you back only because you had already been settling for a mediocre life while holding yourself back instead of doing your most exciting creativity.
3. Fully Conscious -Personal Power
   Fully conscious anger is really not anger at all because you have given up judging anyone including yourself.  Instead, you are allowing the infinite power within you to ROAR FORTH without blame.  It may say something like: “Enough is enough!  I have settled long enough for less than my potential.  I am bigger than this limited appearance!  You may then use this pent up energy to do something powerfully constructive.

See if you can allow your anger to evolve through these stages into greater empowerment.

Need more help for a deeper anger clearing and healing? Here is the long version:

The 5 Steps to Resolving Anger are:

1. Own it as yours.
   No one makes you angry -as it may appear.  Yet their appearance or behavior has likely triggered a reaction in you.

1. Find a secluded place you can work with yourself, or with someone you trust who has read over and understands this process. This person should write down all the negative judgments that come out of your mouth, the valuable raw material of your healing.
2. Say to yourself:  “I am having an anger reaction to (person, situation).”  
3. Locate the anger in your body.  What parts of your body do you feel it most?
4. Breath into it; Allow yourself to feel it to the core.

1. Get it out!
   Old anger must come out, like a pimple must be popped.  By expressing your anger in a healthy way you are getting out both toxic feelings and beliefs. It’s not pretty, but you might as well get it over with as you will feel a lot better afterwards.

1. Become the voice of anger, and express yourself unabashed. Express all your judgments.  What is wrong with this person or situation?  What seems so unfair? If there is hatred, what do you hate? Allow you anger full force through your voice.
2. Did you get to the bottom of your anger? If not, ask yourself:  “In this anger, what age am I.”  Trust the first year that comes to your mind.  Choose to remember this time of your younger years.
3. Now BE that age.  What is happening? Who is angry and why? Record all judgments.
4. If you feel more anger coming up about how you were treated,  grab a pillow and imagine you are looking into the eyes of the one that hurt you and say from your gut, “You had no right to _____judgment_________! I am an innocent child!”   Say this a few times about all the ways they negatively treated you.  Then allow the center of the rage to come out by yelling, “How dare you ________ me!”… while taking it out on the pillow.
5. Acknowledge and hug your inner child for having the courage to get it out.

1. Forgive yourself for how you judged yourself.
   By now you are probably aware of a few negative judgments of certain others, yourself, and or your situation. you have been holding.  To complete your healing, you will need to practice self-forgiveness:

1. Say these words slowly: “I forgive myself for judging myself as _______________.”  For example: If you felt “powerless” say,:          “I forgive myself for judging myself as powerless.”   Self judgments you can forgive yourself for might include: neglected, betrayed,  unloved, unsupported, abused, abandoned, rejected, guilty, bad, not good enough, lazy, etc.)  As long as you are carrying negative judgments you are likely unconsciously re-attracting like circumstances, more drama into your life.  By forgiving yourself for going there in your mind anymore, you are stopping the victim habit and opening the door for your ability to truly forgive and accept others where they are in their growth process.
2. Forgive yourself for all the ways you judged the other person. Spiritually speaking – there is only one of us.   After living hundreds of lives we have all acted out almost every atrocity.  Whatever angers you in another is most likely something you have yet to  forgive yourself for.  Slowly say: I forgive myself for judging myself as ________________.   (i.e…. negligent, mean, abusive, selfish, guilty, untrustworthy,
   irresponsible, selfish, etc.)
3. Forgive yourself for all the ways you judged your life, the world, the Universe, and God.  Without forgiving yourself for this negative thinking,  you will continue to unconsciously attract negative drama.
   Example: Slowly say: “I forgive myself for judging life as against me.   I forgive myself for judging the world as against me.  I forgive myself for judging the universe as against me.  I forgive myself for judging God as against me.”  Fill in all the judgments that have a charge for this exercise.
4. Once you have thoroughly said all the self forgivenesses for all the judgments that had come up, you can now forgive the others that provoked your anger, which you may discover by now is much easier to do.
5. Re-claim your Power.  Anger has shown up in your life because in some way you gave your power away, you imagined yourself as a victim.   In all the ways you judged yourself as less than perfect, affirm the inverse out-loud in the following way:

1. If you judged yourself as “powerless”, then ask your Higher Power, “Am I Powerless?
   If you are listening well, you will hear a “No!” from your heart.
2. Then ask, “If I am not powerless, then who am I really?  You may hear something like, “You are made in my image and likeness of me -powerful, loving, and wise beyond measure.”  

1. Repeat these powerful words in-first person while looking in the mirror or to another supportive person.   “I AM made in the image of my Creator – powerful beyond measure.”  

1. Offer Gratitude.
   From a more expanded perspective, how can you see this entire experience as a gift that has helped you claim all that you are today?  Thank yourself for doing this powerful growth work.Insight: All that pain happened on the human personal level.  On the deeper Soul level, there is only Loving. Realize and affirm this perfection that is inherent within you and others.  For example: Instead of neglected, at the level of the Authentic Self, I realize I am deeply loved and supported by God, the Universe and all my relations, even my parents, right now and always. Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!
   

Conclusion
Perception is Projection.  A counselor once told me, “If you can not see perfection in another,  you have a problem.”  Indeed we become part of the problem as we focus on the negative in others, which is really our own disowned and unforgiven shadow. On the other hand, when we see innocence in others, even if they don’t see it themselves, we become powerful healers in the truest sense of the word.

Many so called healers are impatient to “fix” another’s problem because they have yet to fully forgive themselves for the same issue.  We take on another’s issues primarily because we are judging them. Remember, real healing is not rescuing, but self healing shared.  When you can love all your inner parts, you can truly love all your relations, as they are today.  You are no longer impatient to change them. Paradoxically, being accepting allows yourself and others the safety to make powerful changes.   Through unconditional love we are more swiftly ushered home to our Innocence.

Final Note: The nicest people can carry the deepest rage from unconsciously holding trapped emotions from past traumatic experiences.  If you suspect you have deep seated anger, I recommend that you receive assistance with a health care professional who is trained in anger work. I, Joa Janakoayas and UMS graduate students are trained in this valuable work.  You are welcome to get support from one of us.  Know it is really possible to be free of all reactivity.