How to Moderate Mood Swings and Compulsive Behavior

If you are challenged with unhealthy habits, mood swings, and depression, you are not alone. These are challenges for most people.  The challenge is how to moderate our energy in a healthy way.

Do you feel “up” some days and “down” others? It is natural to shift back and forth from being inward to outgoing each day and night, each lunar month, and through various astrological cycles. It is possible and preferable to learn to enjoy the cycles of yin and yang without adding more story and drama to it. 

Many people in our society have somewhat dramatic mode swings.  Along with these mood swings, we usually have some kind of compulsive behavior to get ourselves through our heavy moments. The behavior can be getting caught-up in the negative news, blaming the bad guys, or or your x-lover, drinking alcohol, using marijuana or any mood altering substance, overworking, over eating unhealthy foods (especially sweets), compulsive sex, over spending, or using people in various ways to fill your emptiness. 

For instance, it can happen something like this: Suddenly, we feel a void, we lack energy.  The mind may go into a panic about not being able to adequately perform. It may feel like our system is shutting down, like we are going to faint unless we get some kind of fix. So we use that substance or do that behavior that gives us a rush of energy so we can just feel somewhat normal again, at least temporarily until the next crash. 

It’s very hard to just stop the unhealthy behavior because the behavior is giving you a vital need, more energy.  And, the fix you chose has already proven itself to work many times.  Why change what seems to work? The subconscious mind is very powerful. It does not want to change the way your getting fed, even if you eventually wind up feeling worse. 

But you can. You can replace your unhealthy way of getting energy with a better way.   

How?  First, you must be fully willing to change, realizing you can have a better life.

Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result.” 

“The truth shall set you free.”
Have the courage to tell the truth to yourself and to others who will compassionately listen and patiently believe in you. Write down your thoughts feelings behavior, and insights in a journal. You must own-up to how your old habit is compromising your own life, your aliveness, your authentic happiness,  your career, and your relationships.  Coming out of denial knocks air out of your ego’s sails.  The ego doesn’t like honesty. It wants you to keep hiding your issues in the dark. It wants to hold onto secrets. But the real you is always at choice.  You can continue to cave into the old way that keeps you feeling weak, or choose your strength to change. Honesty with yourself and others is your first step. It can be a challenging emotional experience to tell the truth, but it is these emotions that get you in motion for real change.

Next, come up with your own version of a rock-solid first response. Here is only one version: The next time you catch yourself starting to act-out the old behavior, politely say to yourself: “No – thank you.” Stand up, and walk away, preferably outdoors. Practice deep relaxed breathing and drink a glass of water, ideally with lemon in it (making it alkaline). Think about someone or something you truly love. This can be your lover, your child, your animal, or your future soul mate.; whatever brings you to the idea of true Love and joy. In the energy of true love, you more easily access the best version of yourself.   Again, I suggest you get creative and rehearse a first response that will work for your challenge.

Practice this first response sequence in your mind over and over, like what EMT’s or pilots do. Repeat this protocol again and again in your mind so it will be automatic when the emergency happens.  You are building a new power in your subconscious mind. If it is built strong enough, you will succeed with disrupting the old habit.  If you are really serious about changing, write this protocol down on paper 25 times in a row every day for 25 days. 

Your first response is crucial, yet it is only the first response. After the slip or temptation, and practicing your first response, you need to set an appointment with yourself for some belief surgery.

The main cause of energy drops is almost always in our mind. You have been likely worrying about something negative, at least subconsciously.  Maybe you fear for a relative or close friend, afraid to go to sleep, afraid of the dark, afraid of dying or being killed, afraid of failure, of going broke, or of being rejected, abandoned, or humiliated. So you work harder. The mind tries to work harder to fix it, to analyze it to death, and you are caught in a negative mental loop. 

According to spiritual psychology, there is no healing from the mind, the emotions, or even from upgrading our behavior. These aspects of ourselves are elements of our ego, as they are based in duality: Good and bad, right and wrong.  

The healing comes from our Authentic Self.  At the Authentic Self level of being, we are all one in the great LOVING. There is just LOVE to be realized now.  And this great LOVING is infinitely available everywhere, and in everyone – including you! 

Spiritual psychology says all acting out to get energy is an attempt to get the love we do not feel. We didn’t feel it because our mind had been caught in a kind of self judgment.  When you are judging anything or anyone in your outer world you are also judging yourself. 

At I AM U we work with what is called The Freedom Method. It’s a method of forgiving ourselves for how we judged ourselves, and replacing these judgments with truth messages from our Higher Self. If you would like a copy of the Freedom Method, email me, and I will send you one. This work has changed my life and thousands of others. 

We are awaking out of the insane ideas, “I am separate from others because…….I’m not good enough in some way, not pretty enough, young enough, good looking enough, smart enough, strong enough, rich enough, etc, etc.”  

The ego mind overworks to prove one is good enough (in various ways) to prove to oneself and others one is lovable.  There is no real healing in just improving our behavior to become better, because we are coming from the idea we are not lovable as we are now.  As long as we believe there is something wrong with ourselves, or could be wrong if certain criteria are not met, we are caught in perpetual loop of endless stressful striving to meet some standard in order to be worthy of love. This is a main cause of exhaustion!  We are caught in a seemingly endless loop self judgment that we believe some outer standard we achieve is going to free us, like having lots of money or a boob job.   These outer standards we hinge our happiness upon are really more temporary fixes that keep us on the mood swing roller coaster. We are “down” when we find ourself in poor circumstances and feel guilty for not having done better, and we are “up” when we meet our standard of success, which tends to wear-off pretty quickly,  because the real cause of our suffering (our self-judgments) are not being addressed and healed. 

Just stopping  our “bad” behavior is not the source of our healing. Obvious examples are those forms of compulsive behavior that are actual human needs, like eating and sex. So one may ask, “How do I know the difference if the behavior is healthy or not?” The simple answer is – if love is present. Ask yourself,  “Am I in the loving? Or, am I trying to get away with something that is not wholesome in order to numb myself from what I really feel?”

Just saying “no” to the wrong behavior without taking the time to understand what is motivating your acting out, can actually exasperate the situation. There may be a harsh critical inner tyrant in us who is saying, “No!… Bad boy or girl! You’re stupid for doing it yet again!”  If a tyrant is running the show, you can bet an inner rebel is going to break down the back door as soon as we let our guard down for an instant.  We easily get caught in the insane idea, “I am good if I do this, and bad if I do otherwise.” Again, no healing can come from the ego’s form of duality at odds with each other. Healing occurs when we remember ourselves as the Loving Authentic Self who can acknowledge both extremes as trying to serve us. When both of these voices in us feel heard (because we are in the loving),  we can find a middle way without getting caught in the tug of war. 

The key to getting free of mood swings and unhealthy compulsive behavior is letting go of all self condemnation and choosing to accept and appreciate yourself regardless of what your life looks like or what you have done before – even if it is minutes ago!  This may seem like a tall order, but it begins to happen instantly when you can remember you are not a human being trying to have a spiritual experience. You are a pure and innocent divine Soul made in the imagine and likeness of your creator. You are a free spirit, already free of your past behaviors. By remembering your freedom now, you can make new empowering choices.  These inspired choices will not be guilt ridden obligations to do better in order to redeem yourself. Holding onto that negative self image is almost a guarantee you will act-out again because you are not in the Loving, which is going to make you feel empty and hungry for another energy fix. The key is to truly forgive yourself and remember your authentic essence is pure and innocent. 

Practice redirecting your mind to the truth of your being. 

“I am the Soul. My very essence is unconditional love.”

If you can direct this divine love towards others, you can also direct it towards yourself.  This unconditional love from your divine source (which is only felt when you ask for it and allow it) is what fills you up with joy. 

Here are some of the most powerful decrees I have found to help you remember your Great Loving Authentic Self.

When you make a mistake or slip, or feel down on yourself for any reason, say:

Because of ______________ (situation or behavior), I deserve more love -not less!

The Beautiful Loving Spirit of the Universe is everywhere in everyone including mySelf!

I am not my behavior. I am the Soul. 

I choose life!

Praise God/Great Spirit as my Life!

Pour your Love in me, Great Spirit I AM! 

Thank you divine Mother-Father for my body, mind, and all my relations. 

God loves me, She loves me, I love me; I am free. 

I love myself as I am because God loves me exactly as I am.

I AM that which I have been looking for all along.

I am the Loving energy I’ve been longing for. 

I am the fulfillment of all my dreams.

Ask and you shall receive. Ask for the Love of God/Great Spirt and the light of the Universe to fill you up, and you shall receive. 

It’s a simple yet profound choice, that is meant to be a habit, until there becomes a time when you shall never feel empty again. You will have returned to the state of your magical child self. 

Children are usually not depressed or have an addiction because they are naturally happy.  Instead of judging their situation, they are present, usually enjoying the magic of each moment. This is our natural state, to be happy, playful and adventurous, always learning and growing. Laugh and play like a child, and you will be too naturally high to ever want to go back to your old heavy ways again. 

PS: Be on the lookout for my soon to be published Soul Recovery Cards with 99 affirmations.