The Dark Masculine vs the Divine Masculine

Men are not inherently evil, as well as women, but we each have our shadow issues, and if these reactive places in ourselves are not brought to the light of healing, our relationships suffer greatly. I know, because i speak from years of experience with both conflict and harmony with women. 

One clear distinction between the dark and divine masculine is whether the person is grounded or not. The masculine ShIva energy comes down through the Crown chakra. It is full of higher truth, guidance, support, protection, and divine love for the feminine. The feminine Shakti energy, which rises up the chakras from the Earth, is very grounding, soothing, nourishing, and naturally energizing. This is how we feel in Nature, right? 

An ungrounded man will use women to ground himself. This is the dark masculine. On the other hand, the Divine Masculine is fully grounded to the Earth, and this nourishment he feels from the Earth and the feminine aspect of life everywhere, allows him to be relaxed in his wholeness, while knowing he is provided for and loved at all times, regardless if women come or go from his life. This love and nourishment is always present and available but easily forgotten when a one has trauma memories that have not been embraced and healed. To be ungrounded is to have these unhealed emotions swirling in one’s synergy field with no place to go. 

When we ground ourselves, our emotions can move down and out of our bodies. The Earth mother takes them, but usually not without one fully feeling them. Have you ever laid down on the Earth and then found yourself needing to cry?

The process of letting go requires us to become painfully conscious how we have been unconsciously holding onto a negative reality that clouded our perception of present reality, and how we might have unconsciously projected our hurt onto others. 

Being grounded means bringing our light of awareness down to the lowest places in our self. Our energy system is as strong as its weakest link. The darkest and lowest vibration place in ourselves most needs the light of our loving awareness. When we are grounded, we get real about our human situation, and this is the starting place for a real life transformation.

The dark masculine feels abandoned by the feminine, and will blame women for abandoning him in some way. When the woman in his life doesn’t show up for him as he expected, he will find a reason to judge her, or rather than confront her, find a way to escape through a substance like marijuana or behavior like porn. He seeks some kind drug infusion of the feminine he doesn’t feel. 

Men, try to be easy on yourselves as you read this, because the wounding many of us have encountered is deep. Many of us were neglected in early childhood because we were boys, and “boys are supposed to be tough, not needy.” For example, I was separated from my mother at birth for days, painfully circumcised, and quickly weaned from breast milk. (This led to my infatuation with breasts.) Then they put my baby bed on the opposite side of the house. According to many childhood psychologists, denying a young child’s needs does just the opposite. Instead of making him need less, this unhealed wound makes men more needy.  By learning to not take our own needs seriously, we looked for women to nurture us with food and sex. We needed them to process our emotions that we learned to not express until it was too late. 

The Dark Masculine is immature, a playboy with the hunter mentality. It is to be run by the reptilian brain, out to get a feminine fix and consume.   On the other hand, the Divine Masculine has awakened to the realization everything he needs is already here. As he sustains his connection with the Divine Feminine within himself, he becomes a safe space for women, and so women become easily available.  

Re-embodying the Divine Masculine is a process of letting go of the whole construct of what we men learned it is to be a man. For me, it meant I had to be smart, charming, a spiritual know-it-all and healer who is expected to heal the woman I am attracted to. It meant I had to put aside my own needs and over-give to the point of throwing my own life out of balance. Then, when the woman in my life did not give back as much, I would feel let down, and even angry.  Dropping that construct is requiring me to take much better care of myself, and allow natural connections with women without trying to impress them.  It’s simply relaxing in myself, being in my heart, and communicating honestly. 

To claim the Divine Masculine within ourselves, we men are letting go of the pursuit of women to make us feel whole, which never works. We have to do our own work, and one practical solution, is to practice grounding ourselves to the Earth every day. The Divine Masculine knows his shadow behavior, and does the work of healing his pain instead of continuing to project it onto the women in his life. He no longer blames women for his mother wound, even if he gets triggered by women not responding as he would like. If his early childhood abandonment memories do get triggered, instead of taking it personally and feeding the upset, he can decide to literally drop the emotion down to the Earth on the spot. If the upset feels too challenging to quickly drop,  rather than wreck havoc with an argument (which always goes nowhere and often leaves wreckage to have to clean up later)  he excuses himself to work-out his emotions – ideally with other men supporting him. In this way,  the Divine Man keeps himself free, clear, and non-reactive, and this makes women feel safe. 

Many women need a lot of space to feel safe, and come into their own feminine sovereignty – without being hit on. They have suffered so much abuse from men in the past few thousand years, and so have a very little tolerance for even the slightest reactivity from a slightly ungrounded man. The authentic divine feminine is rising from having been hidden underground for thousands of years. It is the most precious, tender, beautiful and sacred essence in all of us. 

Instead of judge sensitive women as weak, we can see them as a gift to challenge us men to do the work of claiming our complete sovereignty, wholeness, and deep connection with the divine feminine that is now available to us all. 

If you are a man needing support to be your fully empowered Divine Masculine Self, you are welcome to check out  The Divine Man Support Group happening in person and online – to see if it is a good fit for you. Call 530-925-6770 for details.

In our Divinity,

JOA WHITE EAGLE